it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize