his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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