They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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