I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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