HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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