The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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