I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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