He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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