he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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