That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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