Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize