so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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