Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize