R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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