My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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