The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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