my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
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Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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