It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
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i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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