He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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