sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize