Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
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I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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