i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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