i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize