I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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