i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize