She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize