I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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