i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize