We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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