Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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