last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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