Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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