I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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