I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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