I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize