why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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