This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
sex in a hospital.. check
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize