He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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