well I can't set my house on fire every night
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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