apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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