Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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