So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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