Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize