I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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