She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize