Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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