I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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