im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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