Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize