Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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